Hilarious quotes from fundamentalist christian chat rooms
These are my favorites from the list
1. I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don’t think he’s ready to date yet. What’s worse is that he’s sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!
2. Most afflictions like this are caused by sins committed while still inside the womb. If she can repent for what she does god will embrace her and make her as human as you or me but if she chooses not to she’ll always be like this
3. I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie
4. I often debate with evolutionists because I believe that they are narrow mindedly and dogmatically accepting evolution without questioning it. I don’t really care how God did what He did. I know He did it.
5. The only thing I don’t like about them is they sell foreign language versions of the KJB. I don’t think that’s right. We know the only true translation is the 1600’s version in English. It’s too risky for anybody to translate that into other languages. Mistakes can creep in… and that can lead to heresy. True Christians should only read English.
6. You are banned. You are not a Christian for Christians don’t accuse brothers and sisters in Christ of being non-Christian.
7. Please don’t insult our intelligence by lumping science and technology together. They are as different at night and day.
8. If the Bible is wrong when it tells us it is infallible, then it contradicts itself. If it contradicts itself, then it is unreliable. If it is unreliable, then our faith is totally shattered and Christianity is a lie. You need to seriously reconsider your logic.
9. To say the Bible was written by men and may contain inaccuracies completely contradicts the word of the Bible.
10. Why is it that spiders could spin and weave a million years ago, but they try to say people could only spin or weave 20,000 years ago.
11. A few months ago I felt led to put together a “post rapture file” for my unsaved loved ones which is on my computer. My daughter knows that if she doesn’t come to Christ before we go that she is to get this file and share it with everyone. I’m working on a list of names and contact info to put in the file. Anyway, today I just felt very strongly that not only should I remind her of it, but to witness to her for the 1000th time and give her complete instructions on what to do as soon as we are gone. I even went so far as to tell her as soon as we are gone that she is to go to a house that belongs to a friend since he will be gone too. It is WAY off the grid. I’m going to talk to him about it tomorrow and get directions. He loves Tiffany like his own granddaughter so I know it will be fine since all of his loved ones are going too. I gave her the pin # to my atm and credit cards. I told her to make sure that she plants as big a garden as she can and learn to can food. Not to worry about the kids because they will be with Nana. I’m putting instructions in the file about how to start the generator, where her Daddy’s guns are and how to load them, where the spare car and truck keys are, etc., etc., etc.
12. so you think if no one believed in any religion there would be no wars or fighting? i think it would be worse. i know if i didn’t fear god’s judgement i would have killed many many times.


Holy Christ! Would someone redesign that fstdt website (and get it a better url)?!?!?
Oh yeah…and those quotes are tragically absurd.
Nice! LMFAO!! esp 4.!!!
its great to see some people that believe and dont ever let people get in the way of how u feel, because now you have a connection with god–and that is great because you have filled that empty space in your heart (the space that only god can fill)…dont loose what ypu have!!!!!!!
because when you do, you will just keep falling
like me and now i cant get him back….