Since posting Your chances of getting laid through Craigslist: A Bloggasm case study two days ago, I’ve been getting a ton of email feedback. Some of it has been the usual blather (i.e “ur just mad because you can’t get laid thru craigslist!!111), but I’ve also gotten some very thoughtful responses as well, often pointing out where I had gotten things wrong. Below I’ll post this feedback anonymously:
This person claims that I overlooked a lot of things when I did the experiment:
Nice experiment. However, I think you missed a lot of issues.
You had classifications as Bi female, straight male, female and so on.
But, In truth it has more to do with the ad to start with that gets a responce.
Most the fake ads get sent over and over again. People try to avoid those. Usualy they have no area and no picture. Most the real ads with out pictures will be left up on the thing unless the person feels like taking it down and for what reason most don’t. One guess is they are always wanting to see what else they can get. They are grass shoppers always looking over the fence.
Then there is the biggest issue does the ad pertain to that person. It isn’t simply enough to make your self one sexual preference over another. A person who is attractive will get far more hits than one who is not. Then a person who can be convincing in their reason is even more so. Put those two together you will find a lot more ability.
When it comes to selling yourself, confidence and logic matter most, they want to believe they can trust you even if they know they can not.
There is some guy trying to sell a course for learning how to pick up on people. It may help some people it won’t help all. You can’t turn people easily into something they are not Charisma is more like a martial art. For most people takes lots of training. For some it’s natural. Myself, I am lucky most people once I meet them in person they like me. That’s why I ended up with a wife 13 years my younger. To bad her OCD kicked in and tore the family appart. Now, I am a single dad with primary custody 5 days a week.
Even now I have little problems. I managed to grab the attention of a Woman about 19 or 20 today in service (at church).
If you watch “King of the Hill” The episode where Bomhower takes Bobby under his wing to learn how to pick up on women. He’s got the easiest approach. Ask everyone someone will say yes. The trick is to learn how to get the ones who wouldn’t normally say yes to say yes.
Get their attention. How, lot’s of different angles to follow. It boils down to finding something you can do to grab their interest.
This person thinks that it IS possible for straight men to find women:
Top of the Mornin’ to Ya “Simon”:
Thanks for the study with an interesting, albeit dishonest, methodology; I took a look at your study and found it interesting, but with several flaws.
As a CL veteran of more than 2 years now- who has actually just met… PHYSICALLY, IN PERSON- woman number 30 (over half of which I have had sexual relations with), I am way ahead of you. About the only part you have accurate is that it is, statistically speaking, overwhelming in term of numbers/competition for a man responding to a woman’s post to meet & have relations with her.
However, about this I must say two things. First, your chances are INCREASED the closer in time it is when you respond to a REAL (as opposed to all that spam) woman’s post. And second, I would advise men new to the site to generally not even bother with responding to those posts (with all the fakes & phoneys now on there, like yours), but to do what you have conveniently ignored, i.e., post YOUR OWN ad.
The latter has easily been my most-successful methodology; granted, it often does take lots of repetition (but no problem with ads saved as files), but it also produce RESULTS- lots of them. So, your claim that “It is almost impossible for man to get laid through craigslist” is simply false. And you even state that you didn’t measure how difficult it is to get laid, but merely how difficult it is to meet in terms of responses.
Finally, in general, I will also tell many men to use the best methodology ever invented by man; it is the one that has worked for me for years (although on rare occasions I have had success without it, specific cases being 3 women from earlier this year on CL). You know what that’s called?… PAYING FOR IT!!!
Yes, as my brother (who operates a very successful website out in CA- [URL REMOVED SO PERSON CAN REMAIN ANONYMOUS]) and I know all too well, this is THE method that is best, avoids endless bullshit, and gets you RESULTS! And I am not even talking about all the stuff in the erotic section (which you also ignored and which would falsify your claims even more), but of making sweet, younger, new girls that have not done this before into your own private whores.
I have done this several times on CL, and am enjoying the current fruits of it now with a nice, beautiful, shapely, younger blonde girl. This is just one example, but I have many more; in general, I highly recommend CL and this methodology, as well as posting YOUR OWN ads and seeing the results you can get.
All in all, then, you have an interesting, although flawed, study that- by your own admission- doesn’t measure the actual getting-laid aspects. My brother and I should write a book of our own, with our own testimony and statistics.
In direct opposition to your contrary study, we say the opposite… Craigslist is, when used properly over time, a GREAT tool for meeting women and having relations with them!
I responded with this email:
Thanks for your interesting email, [NAME REMOVED]. Let me address the first half of your email: I’m not sure what you mean by putting up my own ad. I did put up ads by straight males, and they got absolutely no responses, except for one in Houston. You’re right though, repetition might be the trick, since I didn’t have time to repeat experiments. Like I said, this is hardly a representative sample, and to get a truly representative sample I might have to go back and do several weeks of work. Please let me know if there are any specific methods (other than paying the girl) to use when you design your ad. Will including a picture in the initial ad help? I won’t ever use CL to get laid myself, but it would be interesting to know for future possible experiments.
Now, to move on to your second notion: Paying the girl. I did notice that there were a number of “Sugar Daddies” who responded to my email. It was interesting how they phrased it, rather than saying they were paying for sex, they were “spoiling” for sex, which in my mind they’re hurdling over our cultural taboos against prostitutes, and perhaps making the girl feel like she’s not performing the sex for immoral reasons.
But at the same time, I wonder what percentage of the CL crowd is looking to pay their way down a girl’s pants. A lot of people who responded did appear to be semi-wealthy professionals, but still more were college kids (who are notoriously cheap!) and other like-minded individuals.
And he responded with:
I can, and actually already have (unintentionally!) over my time on there already done your work for you Simon; I just know what has worked the most, and what hasn’t- in terms of an overall pattern (as Sergio Mendez might sing… “I know the pattern much too well”!)
The main idea I referred to is a man posting his own ad, and GENERALLY not wasting time responding to females (or, a supposed female- like what you put up!). And over time, you tend to notice the tell-tale signs of all the spammers that pervade this site, and others as well- especially nowadays.
In general, it’s all a numbers game anyway- like it is anywhere in life as man when you try get with women. But, to INCREASE the probability of success, I do know that offering $, i.e., putting a dollar sign in front of your ad, INCREASES the chances of success because this is the one thing that will make more girls take an interest in intimacy, namely, MONEY! You are also probably better off when you include a nice picture; and ditto for a nice structure to your ad overall. (Incidentally, this “sugar daddy” here wouldn’t “sugarcoat” the ad with that term necessarily- LOL; I just say it’s about $, in a direct, no-nonsense fashion. This has been fine.)
Over time, the women I have met have generally been from their responding to MY well-worded ads; you have to present yourself in a clear, well-written fashion, and be as specific as possible. Granted, most of the time you don’t get diddly back; but once in a while, you hit some real gems/paydirt- like I have many times on there.
It also goes in CYCLES, i.e., sometimes you can be on there for days or weeks, and nothing. Then, all of a sudden, like magic, you get several LEGITIMATE, non-bs responses. But, you just have to be persistent, and never give up; you will get results- one other benefit of being in a big city like Chicago here!
Well, this is just a little more from this CL veteran; let me know more anytime. CL is definitely a system that, when used with care and lots of repetition, can yield you some wonderful results. And most of all, it’s still free!
This person has some ideas for how to conceal your identity when you reply to ads:
interesting! I read your blog post. I for one got laid this week (w/ female) thru CL. But I agree it’s few and far between. I also agree that a lot of people who DO respond (I’m a mostly straight/occasionally bi guy) use their REAL names. Bad idea. How do they know I’m not some psycho with a hidden agenda? What if I meet them, we have great sex, then I want to see them again but they don’t want to so I decide to stalk them? You can find a lot of info about someone sometimes with just their email address. Even more with their real name or a couple facts about them like their job.
Most people I’ve met this way seem pretty normal but you never know. It only takes one psycho looking to stalk – or case your house – to fuck up your life.
I have this email which I only use for online dating/sex. I don’t use it for any other purpose and I don’t use any other emails for setting up stuff this way. I don’t give away details about myself unless I’ve already met someone a couple times and it’s not a ‘just sex’ thing. So I’m pretty smart about it… I think!
As for the quality of the meat… well if you’re looking for chicks they are either going to be a) fat b) really fat c)otherwise unattractive d)playing for pay, whether looking for sugar daddy or tricks. I do think there are some attractive women on CL but of course you have to be in their league to get a chance. I had a date with an attractive redhead once. But usually you’re dealing with lowering your standards somewhat. I’m ok with that, if it’s a situation of just getting laid without all the bar bullshit. I don’t mind a curvy chick depending on her look. There was one today that wanted to come over but she didn’t want to send a pic. no way will I fuck a chick I haven’t seen a photo of first.
now as for the gay thing… if you’re gay/bi you can get lots of action on CL. the problem is you probably don’t want to mess around with the CL regulars. Flakes, crooked or possibly diseased. I am very VERY selective with who I’ll mess around with if I’m looking for bi action. I read the ads regularly so I can tell who the regulars are. They post the same fucking ad all the time. duh. Or they post the same ad to m4m and CE too.
oh one more thing. It’s totally unscientific of course but judging by the m4m/CE posts I’ve read, there is a significant percentage of outwardly hetero men who are on the down low, including married guys and guys who are in het relationships and happy/comfortable with them. It is astounding, the percentage of CL personals ads that are from guys who are ‘not gay, but…’
anyway that’s my 4 cents since I went on twice as long as I should have. Have a good one.
And this person says that my results are consistent with other parts of craigslist, not just the NSA section:
That tracks with what I learned in my research for Spreadsheet Boyz: Adventures in Mid-life Dating. Women do not respond to the men’s ads – the guys all told me this. It also track with the fact that IO make it clear I am NOT just trying to “get laid”, I am trying to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, but 9 times outta ten they just want to get it on. The 20-40 year old average respondents tracks the same, too.